I don't need a lot of love but I need a steady supply
This is from the Ashleigh Brillian hompage.. I love his 'potshots'.. another fav.. 'i'm sorry for not communicting but it's hard to write on a moving planet'..
not a really good day today..
teaching last night where i focus on the ONE student who eye rolls, ducks her head and gets more and more turtle like the longer i speak..
i get addicted to noticing her response.. have started asking her direct questions to engage her and that seems to get her perked up again.. maybe next week i'll ask her to take the class!.. she would probably do an excellent job..
although i was the 'student from hell' asking tricky questions enjoying my own abilty to devitate and laterally think..and always thought they were so stupid and seemed to miss the obvious.. and teachers often found this VERY challenging so ... Karma for me.. 'cos it's not so easy..
i just sometimes really question the sense in gettng myself to stand in front of people so's i can feel publicly humiliated and try and get the into the guiness book of records in keeping on functioning...
today was no better the vundekid in the class always had a better idea than me )or anyone else)
and it usually involves listening to or looking at him!.. he's gorgeous and used to be a professional sportsperson but I figure that's not quite why i'm there!!!
and then there's the quiet achiever or two just plodding on and on, putting in positive input where ever possible and mostly ignored by all and sundry...
Perhaps facilitation isn't my strong point but then again .. you can't just keep on giving up everything.. as i suspect there may be NO strong point.. perhaps i'll make an excellent corpse!!! Now there's a position I could maintain.
not a really good day today..
teaching last night where i focus on the ONE student who eye rolls, ducks her head and gets more and more turtle like the longer i speak..
i get addicted to noticing her response.. have started asking her direct questions to engage her and that seems to get her perked up again.. maybe next week i'll ask her to take the class!.. she would probably do an excellent job..
although i was the 'student from hell' asking tricky questions enjoying my own abilty to devitate and laterally think..and always thought they were so stupid and seemed to miss the obvious.. and teachers often found this VERY challenging so ... Karma for me.. 'cos it's not so easy..
i just sometimes really question the sense in gettng myself to stand in front of people so's i can feel publicly humiliated and try and get the into the guiness book of records in keeping on functioning...
today was no better the vundekid in the class always had a better idea than me )or anyone else)
and it usually involves listening to or looking at him!.. he's gorgeous and used to be a professional sportsperson but I figure that's not quite why i'm there!!!
and then there's the quiet achiever or two just plodding on and on, putting in positive input where ever possible and mostly ignored by all and sundry...
Perhaps facilitation isn't my strong point but then again .. you can't just keep on giving up everything.. as i suspect there may be NO strong point.. perhaps i'll make an excellent corpse!!! Now there's a position I could maintain.
posted by miss wendy at 11:41 PM
6 Comments:
Another fine Ashleigh Brilliant quote, a particularly pertinant one for me, of course.
I think you fuss too much about your teaching ability, miss w, and your ability generally. Give yourself a break, eh?
thanks Ms S.. but it's the ffff feelings that drag me around and unless I invest in clean syringes
I just can't seem to avoid the ffff..feelings.. they've always plagued me and I guess that's where my interest in counselling came from.. that and the life threatening childhood. .. I'd really like a job where I feel OK..
Have been thinking of a few alternative options.... but i get so lethargic about organizing change.. I mean can't someone else just turn up with a life i'll enjoy intact and ready for use FOR me~~.. ? I guess it's my angst ridden way of providing the response for myself that your poll did for you... Will I A, B, or C... This life has been cancelled due to lack of attendance.
Oh, I hear you loud and clear, Wendy. Organising and planning and acting... man, how fucking tedious. And hard. I'm totally over it.
Am feeling a little better today thank heavens.. I keep thinking I may be depressed and then i cheer up!!!! Well did a few meditations that tend to clear things for me, walked around the block, by the river under a full moon. Watched 'Serendipity' the movie, watched with the director's dialogue.. listened to the sound track.. felt a lot better.. I know it's probably jus too shcmultzy for you but really could be fairly interesting for you presently.. lurve eva true.. W
Glad you're looking up, my love.
And why does everyone think me so flinty-hearted? Do I keep my pale, frail and tender heart so concealed? Do I hide the stiff, balled-up tissues so well?
I always wondered what gave you that buxom clevage..now I know ~wads of tissues!.. I believe you do hide it well.
but then maybe i just haven't been around long enough. I guess that's one of the characteristics I find interesting about you..
the swing from the
'highly intellectual nothing phases me' to 'I care'.. that and the quirkyness and subtle humour you use to present your worldview. I do get the gentlenss 'cos it's palpable but then we can both go into wonder woman with PMT fairly effectively I feel..
What's the longer term plan re travel presently? got one? and how are you feeling having taken a very sensible step into the UK.. are you staying with people you know? Anyway hope you are ok,
I'm a bit like that bouncing ball following the lyrics on screen.. up and down..
I was working today.. sitting with a woman who was wearing a light blue and green chenille jumper (it's cooler .. but still Brisbane!26deg) and a floaty white long skirt with flowers on it,gold sandals, 2 brightly coloured scrunchies on left wrist and one on the right, assorted chains and bangles, a piece of string aroung her neck with rings on it .. dyed bright red hair with a coloured scarf, vivid make up and 'new' (only cost $2) christmas earrings on .. round furry barber pole red and white stipes.She didn't smell so good- has to have Blue nurses come to get her to shower and won't hang her clothes out to dry in case they are 'tampered with'.. so they get balled up in her room and dry like that.. so not quite smellling like a rose... we were sitting chatting and a young girl walked by, short denim skirt, light blue singlet on and the woman with the chrissie earrings said to me "isn't that a silly outfit!".. Beam me up Scotty..
I went to the dentist last week and enquired if I could make a living growing plaque ('cos he says I'm good at it). He didn't seem to think there would be a great future in it. ... ah well need to write up my 'visits'..
Full moon in brisbane over the river is still lovely. The weather is so gentle presently.. the night air is so sensous on the skin.
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