if you have my short term memory please return asap.. before i forget i had one!

My memory is in trouble!- I was kind of aware of it but then, the day before yesterday, I was standing at the deli counter of my local supermarket having torn off my ticket so I can be in the appropriate place in the queue when I realized I had been standing for a long while and they hadn't asked for my number. So I looked at the number and realized the reason I thought they hadn't said it was due to the fact that I had forgotten it.. and they were now past that number... uh oh! Maybe I will never be able to go to the deli counter again... or it will take, at least, twice as long.. as I took another number and then attempted to internally slap myself on the side of the head to stay alert to the sequence!! Tricky . life is complex, next they'll want me to remember my own name!- I might write up a label for myself like Paddington bear in case I am found wandering. It's a bit debilitating.. I notice when I am teaching I know there's and appropriate word that I want to use or research that I want to quote but is it available? No Siree it's not.. and I have to fudge, fudge, fudge. A friend who is older says it's hormonal and it will either come good again or I'll just roll with it..
I am a bit sad because if I am losing my mind I'd like to have a memorial service while I can still remember that I am missing something as I'd like to commemorate all these years of faithful and unfailing service. I LOVE my mind!! It has provided me with solace, amusement, joy, great problem solving capabilities to survive my childhood .. My own internal version of 'war of the worlds'.. You name it it's shown in the cinema of my mind.. One of my partners once said.. "You could live in a shoebox"- (they weren't referring to my size!- but to my lack of requirement often for external stimulation.. Maybe they just wanted the house:o) .. ah well I guess I am thankful that there are writers! I thought of writing myself but I have decided it something you need to start with the arrogant and idealistic bloom of youth because as I have aged I have realized my own thinking is inane. That anything I have to say is interesting to myself at least and often not even holding that much influence.. So I thought I would have done well to write while I still believed I had something to say.
I guess I do need to write now but no more than my name, address and blood type on a tag that I attach securely to my lapel........... Anyway I guess I had best go and earn a dollar! While I can still remember where to go and what to do to get that dollar.. Why doesn't procrastination pay?

God love 'em!

I ventured in to the country today.. it was lovely.. Inland and up … so it gets colder
.. Which in Queensland means socks! .. No, actually there was a biting wind but it’s not cold for long here so it’s a novelty and fun..
On the news tonight there was an English tourist (one of the few that hasn’t been murdered!) on a pushbike saying how lovely the weather was in Perth Western Australia…like summer…. And Perth is a little further from the Equator than Brisbane..
anyway on the way into the country driving past lots of gigantic sheds and hay and machinery there was a sign … BIG sign and it said…

THANK GOD YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T ABORT YOU.
Beautiful.. I thought and thought... of a retort.. like I'm cursing God yours had you, but then may be it wasn't God that was involved with your birth!.. or... wait for it... I had a client who lived in that area and was raised by fundamentalist and he was one of my clients who died..a young gay man ..died at his own instigation... so i thought i could add ..
Fundamentalist Christians don't need to abort they just wait until their children are so loaded with unrealistic expectations, self hate and dogma that they kill themselves. Too true and too sad. @~(

I think I’ll just sit here and wait till life gets easier.

this is from the Ashleigh Brilliant web page... ain't that the truth.. but been waiting and waiting...
God knows how I'd cope with a real difficulty.. actually I have had some of those and I think drama is so much more compelling!!
You just have to get up and at it don't you! It draws you, sucks the life out of your adrenal system and then spits you back out... I'm in the saliva dripping stage I think .. time to regroup! Refocus ~ on what though? that's the question.. when you are used to spending your time crawling out of the belly of the whale and you end up in a unit in downtown suburbia with enough to eat and friends what do you do next?-- other than climb onto the couch with the remote and a box of carbohydrate covered in tasty preservatives?
ah well, pondering is a little active for this bear of (presently) little brain (Alias winnie the pooh for the uninitiated). .

emporer's new clothes

My goodness - i have had a number of massages and 'treatments' that all calmed me down - plus not screaming from engagement to engagement.. all jobs that i wasn't keen to do.. so now i realize just how stressed i have been and of course how nit picky and interested in the tiniest details of things i get..
so now i am relaxed but too embarassed to see anyone - !.. )

old gym shirt for sale for active bloggers... contradiciton in terms?

Well.... puff, pant, have made it to the end of the semester without having been mobbed by the students and hung somewhere... It was close. still have to finish the marking.. not keen... TAFE is easier. competent / not competent... not all this comparing these essays to each other .. anyway I realize i am exhausted.. and have a very sore shoulder again.. so because I can get free treatment from the student clinics at the college I have had an aromatherapy massage, remedial therapy massage, and acupuncture.... which was a hoot ..
The remedial therapist was a 12 year old male.. (not really but seemed it at the time) who requested that I take off my clothes and stand in my underwear so he could see my range of movement... JEEZ well i bet cha the blood flow was moving.. right up to my face- weird how he left the room for me to undress and I hadn't realized parading around in my scungiest underwear looking like grandmother teletubby was going to be on the agenda!! Really works out your vanity/pride/humility issues..

he was very professional but i SAW a SMILE as he re entered the room.. WEll done him! I probably would have been openly snickering or in shock!.. So that was a hoot!.. he was very good at his job, but, oh my god... 'beam me up'.. just got me to the point of not caring.. would you like me to twirl around now singing the National Anthem and you can go and get the rest of the staff in here.. !

Now the acupuncture ... that also was a hoot.. second time ever for me..
So take one abuse survivor, ask them every question about every body function you can imagine, make them poke their tongue out, write things down about it.. "lightly coated, cracks in center".. then..
get the person undressed, onto a table face down and pin them like a ginormous overweight butterfly to the table .. tweaking the needles to get the 'chi' flowing,,, you have to feel this you know! Don't tell them where those needles are going .. just wander around popping them in so the person is too scared to budge in case they spear out their own eye.. and then ... bring the supervisor in to have a look!!!
"Nice shoes " I said.. meaning .. 'this is a VERY weird way to meet someone.'. ah well, I felt SO GOOD at the end of it.. nearly fell down the stairs.. mood altered ..

step slowly away from the computer

I haven't turned it on for a few days.. I have been good -have been doing my marking.. so difficult to decide why one is 'better ' than another if they are all good!! .. The trials and tribulations of a high class lifestyle..

I mean high class- not fleeing my own country (that'll be after the students recieve their results!)-or just being able to turn the tap on for water...
If only there could be a procrastination Olympics.. I am in training, puff, puff, another minute managed....
ah well, back to it.. this was just to change the screen topic ... Just noticed when posting on Miss S's blogg http://suburbansafari.blogspot.com/ that underneath the post it says "Choose an Identity"..... makes you think doesn't it!.. ok well it made me think...

and Hey Vettie.. Congrats on the manuscript being in the post... WELL DONE... legend.. go on you know you are, arms up "Rocky" style... Did you have a look at the brisbane river as noted by Ms S on the above mentioned blogg May 22? Go on it's good .. it may encourage a trip .. come on swap coasts for a while, now's good! Cooler here, no rain, .... Come on down (well over)..

Am meeting M tomorrow - after my LAST 2 classes for semester and we are going to a GREAT little shop I stumbled on while off to the movies on Sat to see The Upside of Anger.. great shop. you'd love it, very reasonably priced quite unusual but beautiful items.. a lamp with a shade made of glass pieces that look like they have come from a broken wind screen all wired together to form a pyramid.. I LOVE light reflection through glass or on water.

Come on Wend,walk away from that screen... or we'll have to unplug you, how would that look? Blogging unplugged ..? would that be A BOOK?.. like WRITING.. like PAPER?